Men are supposed to be stoic, to tough it out. Boys don’t cry and all that other nonsense. This may explain why men don’t seek medical advice as often as women, and why men receive less medical attention than women at accident scenes – women and children first after all. But women like to remind men that even if they could birth a baby physically, they probably wouldn’t be able to cope with the pain. This idea has made it into main stream culture, and women may be paying a price for this bit of dogma. Studies show that, controlling for level of pain reported, women are less likely to receive painkillers in emergency centres. This would make sense, after all, if women were so much better at handling pain.
So both men and women seem to want to own the position of being able to handle more pain, often apparently to their own detriment. So who is right? Research suggests a clear answer. When men and women have their hands subjected to intense heat or pressure, men can endure higher levels of both. What about putting hands in icy water? Once again, men seem to endure it better, indicating the onset of pain later, and waiting longer before removing their hands.
Men are also almost twice as likely to return to playing a sport after joint replacement surgery. Given that pain is the number one reason given for not returning to a sport after this kind of surgery, this result implies that men have a higher tolerance for this kind of pain as well. Women also report higher levels of pain experienced during a variety of illnesses, and for various forms of chronic pain. So, on balance men seem to endure pain better than women. Yet, the idea that women can endure more pain than men seems highly resistant to the accumulating evidence, with particular emphasis given to the experience of giving birth. Yes, we men have no doubt that it is painful. Yes, we understand that we can’t do it. But no, it does not logically follow that you women can endure more pain than us.
The Toilet Seat Problem – Solved!
The use of the word "learn" is telling here, implying an objectively correct answer that men are simply incapable of getting. We're obviously too stupid to realize that the seat belongs down. But in reality, of course, the toilet seat issue involves conflicting preferences rather than objective truths. There is no correct answer.
Now let's consider the underlying issue here. Women need the seat down, whether they are going number 1 or number 2. Men prefer to have the seat up for number 1, but down for number 2. Let's assume that the average person does four number 1s for every number 2. That means in a normal marriage, 60% of all toilet usage occasions involve having the seat down, hardly a basis for the 100% down policy so vehemently advocated by women everywhere.
I was reminded of this vehemence during a professional "retreat" where 7 male and 2 female colleagues shared a townhouse for the weekend. One of the women came down the stairs and angrily objected to the seat having been left up by the previous user. I innocently enquired as to why the seat should be left down given the ratio of men to women. Big mistake! She didn't speak to me for weeks.
But let's do the math. [7/9 people x "up" 80% of the time] = 62% "up" usage occasions. [2/9 people x "down" 100% of the time] + [7/9 people x "down" 20% of the time] = 38% "down" usage occasions. For that weekend, I was perfectly in my right to suggest that the "norm" for the townhouse should be "up" for that fateful weekend.
Having almost certainly stirred the ire of any female readers, let me now move toward reconciliation by noting one more rather unpleasant research finding. When you flush a toilet, tiny particles of faeces and droplets of urine fly everywhere. They are small, so we don't notice them, but they are, nevertheless, disgusting. Is there a way to prevent this unhygienic phenomenon you ask? Why yes there is! You can, get this, put both seats down before you flush.
This should be the norm for every household. And think of the other benefits. Do you really need to see what's inside a toilet bowl? Even a relatively clean one that has been flushed by the previous user isn't exactly pleasant to look at, which is why a thorough examination of the inside of a toilet bowl is such an effective technique for inducing vomiting when one has an upset stomach. Put both seats down! Problem solved. Let's move on.
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